Local Mosques Notice Lack Of Enthusiastic Strangers In Back During Government Shutdown

Many local Mosques around the US are noting a prolonged absence of certain members of their congregations and have started to be concerned.

“We haven’t seen Jasus Hukumiun in over a month and he never misses a service,” explained Imam Baqri. He proceeded to describe how Hukumiun didn’t have a family and was new to the neighborhood, so he would often pray in the back.

“He was always trying to ask our members about their lives and would sneak glances during prayer,” stated Baqri continuing “I think he was just a lonely man and wanted to connect with people.”

Imam Baqri’s congregation wasn’t the only one suddenly missing once devout members, Imam Abbasi also noticed that Alkhuld Almihnia’s and Yastamie Bshd’s presences were gone from the Mosque.

“Alkhuld and Yastamie were extremely active, and always wanted to discuss the politics in Iraq and Iran,” stated Abbasi. “They were always presenting hypotheticals to see what would be the best way to combat any radicals who may appear in during the service.”

The two community members were also apparently very interested in the Libertarian Jihadist that was beginning to speak in the Middle East and frequently wanted to discuss the ideas with the Mosque attendees. When asked if these members disappearances coincided with the shutdown of the government, or the FBI’s announcement that they could no longer pay informants because of it, both Imams explained that neither of Muslims were federal employees, though they were often found around FBI buildings.

Imam Baqri stated “Many members of our congregation get asked to come in for interviews by the FBI, but they seemed to have a special interest in Jasus. The prejudice of the country’s government is sickening sometimes.”

When asked if he’d seen Hukumiun around the FBI building lately, he replied that he had not and that “the whole situation is very unusual” but they hoped that everything was well with the once avid Muslim.

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