Statists Thrilled By New TSA Membership Opportunity


Although the TSA does a vital service in protecting the public from acts of terrorism, a fact evident by the amount of crises they have halted, many have exclaimed that having to remove their shoes before entering the terminal is mildly inconvenient. Some wondered if there was a means to do away with this small annoyance while also bolstering the essential services the TSA offers. The government, being the ingenious businessman it is, has found the solution: TSA Precheck.

Under this program, not only will passengers be able to speed through TSA, they’ll also be supporting advancing security personnel and technology through a yearly fee.

“This is great!” stated a statist in a white ford explorer. “With just a little cash and a few personal details, I can keep my shoes on and not have to worry about getting my socks dirty on the terminal floor.”

Another statist wearing a “Taxation is the price we pay for a civilized society” button exclaimed “It’s so sad to see a government agency with such a stellar record struggle so much and I’m happy to be able to support them monetarily.”

These concerns were confirmed by the Head of the TSA. “We just weren’t making the revenues we should have been from confiscated gun shaped lighters, tweezers and half full bottles of Sprite, so something had to be done.”

He continued to state how the agency couldn’t even fund their new metal detectors that would require passengers to remove their pants for a new probe technology.

“Sometimes I would purposefully bring in items not allowed by the TSA to help stock their shelves, but this TSA Precheck will make way easier and cheaper to make sure they get the funding they need.”

Visit TSA Pre√ here for more information on this revolutionary service.

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