Bernie Sanders’ Plan To Ban Guns Is Actually An Old Capitalist Tactic

With the announcement of Bernie Sanders’ second presidential campaign, many are waiting with baited breath over his official platform. Bits and pieces have been released slowly including the Senator’s plan for creating a federal ban on all semi-automatic assault weapons. On the surface, this plan seems harmless and to fall in line with typical Democratic rhetoric, the details of this plank reveal a different story. … Continue reading Bernie Sanders’ Plan To Ban Guns Is Actually An Old Capitalist Tactic

Ben Shapiro Goes Whole Day Without Tweeting About Ocasio-Cortez

Conservative thought leader Ben Shapiro had a notable accomplishment today: that so little was going on in US political news he forgot to make his daily post on the activities of newly elected Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. He posted in a now deleted series of tweets his astonishment of not having anything posted about Cortez the day prior. The tweets then began to take an odd … Continue reading Ben Shapiro Goes Whole Day Without Tweeting About Ocasio-Cortez

Jeff Bezos Threatens To Make Porn Involving National Inquirer CEO

A public feud has risen between Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos and David Pecker, CEO of American Media, which publishes the National Inquirer, over alleged blackmail. Bezos claims that “AMI asked him to publicly deny any political motivation in its coverage of his divorce,” and that nudes would be released should he refuse. Despite this, the CEO intends to increase the stakes and claims that if … Continue reading Jeff Bezos Threatens To Make Porn Involving National Inquirer CEO

Al Gore Sees Opportunity With So Many Democratic Candidates

With Bernie Sanders being set to announce his second bid for the Democratic Party’s presidential nomination, the slate of candidates has been increased to nine making it a hotly contested race. Many other politicians are also still speculated to announce their own campaigns including Cory Booker and Joe Biden, meaning that primary voting could be very split in 2020. Former Democratic nominee Al Gore see … Continue reading Al Gore Sees Opportunity With So Many Democratic Candidates

Local Mosques Notice Lack Of Enthusiastic Strangers In Back During Government Shutdown

Many local Mosques around the US are noting a prolonged absence of certain members of their congregations and have started to be concerned. “We haven’t seen Jasus Hukumiun in over a month and he never misses a service,” explained Imam Baqri. He proceeded to describe how Hukumiun didn’t have a family and was new to the neighborhood, so he would often pray in the back. … Continue reading Local Mosques Notice Lack Of Enthusiastic Strangers In Back During Government Shutdown

Commerce Secretary Confused Why Federal Employees Won’t Sell Kidneys For Cash

In light of the news that federal employees were beginning to use food banks after going 5 weeks without pay, Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross suggested that they consider selling their organs since there is no apparent end to the government shutdown. Ross recanted on his previous suggestion that those employees affected take out loans instead of receiving food assistance after realizing the intensity of the … Continue reading Commerce Secretary Confused Why Federal Employees Won’t Sell Kidneys For Cash

Fox News To Provide Topic Warnings Ahead Of Commercials & Reporting

Gillette’s latest commercial, which contains images of boys wrestling with an endless line of dads saying “boys will be boys,” and men bullying, received lots of backlash for its alleged demonizing of men and masculinity. Many conservatives felt that they should have had some sort of alert so that could choose to not view the razor company’s promotions and the first network has announced its … Continue reading Fox News To Provide Topic Warnings Ahead Of Commercials & Reporting

Meet The Man Who Identifies As A Libertarian Jihadist

  Few would identify Islam and libertarianism, but one man is determined to see that change. Shakhs Zayif, Muslim thinker and theologian, believes that the ideals of jihad, or the struggle, and freedom can coexist and potentially morph into a single philosophy. “With a libertarian’s ideal of maximum freedom, and Jihad’s ideal of protecting the practice of our faith, we can create an ideology of … Continue reading Meet The Man Who Identifies As A Libertarian Jihadist

Charlottesville Protester Decides To Be Idiot After Years Of Being Called One

An organizer of the Unite The Right rally in Charlottesville and founder of a “popular” alt-right news site recently announced that he will begin to act unintelligent due to the constant criticism of his ideas. The rally attendee, who identifies as a “former centrist” believes that calling his ideas “dumb, or crazy,” creates a self-fulfilling prophecy for many people who are like him. “Me ideas … Continue reading Charlottesville Protester Decides To Be Idiot After Years Of Being Called One

Chicago Senator Claims Machine Gun Kelly Falls Under Current Gun Laws

Cleveland rapper Richard Colson Baker, who performs under the moniker Machine Gun Kelly, has exploded in popularity recently thanks to his feud with Eminem resulting in the current diss track battle. In response to Eminems track “Not Alike” on his surprise album “Kamikaze” Kelly released “Rap Devil” which received an Eminem response titled “Killshot”. Many who had never heard of Machine Gun Kelly are now … Continue reading Chicago Senator Claims Machine Gun Kelly Falls Under Current Gun Laws